i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
