Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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