Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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