Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
