You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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