2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
