there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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