Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
