clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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