We're like a lot better than the average bears
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize