I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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