trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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