just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
