the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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