even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Enjoy the penises
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
