I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
