Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
