I puked a lego.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
