i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
