i think my tv is drunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
