I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
