My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
