i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
