Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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