Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
