Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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