You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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