Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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