if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
