I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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