1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
