if only i could text you this smell
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
