Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize