Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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