fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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