We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize