I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
