Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize