Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
