adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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