wakey wakey hands off snakey
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
