Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize