I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
