I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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