go do what you do best...puke behind churches
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
