I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
