They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
