therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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