Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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