hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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