he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
