Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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