You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
