Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
