You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize