shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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