Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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