1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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