i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
