found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
