I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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