Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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