If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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