dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
