dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
even my farts smell like vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
