We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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