I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
