HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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