he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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