I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize