if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
