the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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