Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
