the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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