Betty ford says i'm here all night
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
