well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
