saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
